News in Brief
February 28, 2016
VOL 64 ISSUE 13
Sports Michael Phelps
BALTIMORE, MD- Here we have esteemed swimmer and 22 time Olympic medalist Michael Phelps with us to talk about his life in swimming. We asked him why he loves swimming so much and what drives him to be the best each and every day. His response was, "I just love looking at the black lines at the bottom of the pool. The way they intersect at various points is just mesmerizing." USA Swimming also conducted a survey among swimmers throughout the country to ask what their favorite thing about swimming is. The results were astounding. 52% said it was so they could eat more food, 22% said it was so they could have something to do at 5 in the morning, 13% said it was so they can use chlorine as a perfume, 7% said it was so they never have to shower at home, 4% said it was so they could have bleached hair and goggle marks, and 2% marked down other as their answer choice. Phelps also added, based on personal experience, "Hopefully in the future, pool makers will create even more interesting designs on the bottom, so I can stare at them as I swim back and forth across the pool!" He hopes that his opinions as well as the survey helps to explain to others why swimmers love what they do so much.
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Hi David,
ReplyDeleteYour satire was really funny, especially the lines "The results were astounding. 13% said it was so they can use chlorine as a perfume". Nice job conveying the hard work people go through to achieve.
David,
ReplyDeleteYour post is so creative! I loved how you paralleled The Onion. I hope you don't mind if I take inspiration and basically steal your entire concept (I'll definitely credit you!). Even though I haven't swam since like 7th Grade, I could definitely remember looking down at the tile designs, so your post does really well in resonating.
Great post!
What a great piece of satire David! "52% said it was so they could eat more food" im pretty sure thats a real statistic. Keep up the good work!
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ReplyDeleteDavid- This was a great satire and parallel of onion articles. I really like how you satirized the superficial reasons to like swim through a "survey"-- very creative. Nice incorporation of "statistics" as well, it adds great fake logos. Great post!
ReplyDeleteDnie, you are funny.
ReplyDelete